Tuesday, May 16, 2006

The love in My HeaRT

Yeah yeah...I suppose none of the people I knew before knew that I can actually fall in love...Much more, to a living thing.

call me childish or whatever you want but being in love with inanimate creatures, or objects is a hobby for me. Everything from anime to a cute ponytail that I bought for a measly 5 buck deal is attractive to me.

why not humans? Well, I have this knack for liking cute stuff before (like is a pretty mild word to describe my obsession problem). I want to be the boss in the relationship. But knowing guys, it would be pretty difficult to find someone who'd tolerate me. (laughs)

it took quite sometime before I realized that something was lacking in my life. I just woke up one morning to find out that I was the only one not enjoying my love life...If I ever had one. Not that I'm envious or anything but my friends have all found their partners. Ones that they wanted to spend the rest of their lives with...I felt insecured. I started asking myself why I was the way I was (hmmm...Sounds redundant). I wanted to know what kind of guy did I want. ANd thus started my formulation for the perfect dream boy.

as I remember, I dreamt my dream guy as a mestizo chinito who has rosy cheeks and is not that tall...He doesn't have to be active in sports...But he should be patient, caring and he should be rolling in dough.

yeah...Every girl's dream...I didn't have a lot of sources so I couldn't be creative. Its like copying and pasting the idea. Whatever people think is good, is also good for me. hayz...Then I was sent to an all girls college...

"it just made it worse." I thought. How am I supposed to find a guy in an all girls school?!...Yeah and shortly after mentally shouting that, I saw guys in blue uniform walking inside the campus. "ting!" went my eyes...The experience was weird cause my eyes seem to have been somehow glued to them. I had a lot of questions running in my head like

"what the hell are they doing here?!"

"where the hell did they come from??!"

"what the fuck is that keychain!?"

"DAMN! Is that PuCCA!"

"That looks GAY!"

I found out later that right behind our school is an all boys highschool...Got disappointed cause i dont dig guys younger than me. I prefer guys 2 years older or huys of the same age.

yeah...And so my lonely days in that college started. it wasn't until i met a couple of friends that i got introduced to some guys from the surrounding colleges. I found them weird yet amusing and entertainingly fun to be with so i decided to have a relationship with the eldest member...everyone was happy for us. he introduced me to everyone so i had some new acquaintances which later turned into friends and then acquaintances again.

during those times, i met someone really neat. at first i didn't understand why the others warned me about him but anyways, i found him pretty okay. he was very caring and i like the way he address me as his "lady chepot." (laughs and giggles) yeah.. it makes me kilig to hear that...its probably the sweetest thing i ever heard in my life (then). it wasn't until later in our relationship that i realized why they were all afraid of him. (laughs) he is really a good boy but once he's pissed off, not even a running train could withstand his anger...(laughs) i experienced it first hand and now that we're apart, i kind of miss those times when he scolds me for doing something he didn't like.

we got together right after i broke up with the eldest in the group. i felt sorry cause i know i hurt his feelings but i didnt think the relationship would've lasted anyway. one, because i wasn't ready to commit myself and two, there are times that i find him ...(mildly putting it) intolerable...

Right now, I'm so full of love for my boyfriend whom i address as my husband. yesterday was our 1 year and 2 month's anniversary. And we are not planning to break up anytime soo...or ever. from what i see it, we both value our relationship...and we both put great effort to keep it as it is or make it better. (well, mostly, his great effort but i also try my best to do my part)

I have great faith in him. most people tell me its too early to tell if he's the one but i know i'm sure. i hold him dear to my heart and it would break me if he turns out to be for someone else.

Call me obsessed but i already gave him the right of property over me. As long as i have the right of decision, i want him and only him. no one else comes close...

sometimes dreams are ruined by reality but even if i have to defy destiny, fate or both...


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