Hollow

I waited for the call from that company but it never came.

I hate being too optimistic about things...I'll just revert back to my old pessimistic self. I've already finished 5 pints of rocky road ice cream out of extreme depression. and what's worse, i'm not even satisfied.But I can't eat ice cream forever....

For the Love of all things great...can anyone tell me why no one seems to want me?

I work hard...I am very creative...I love challenges...I am very cheerful and I try to look as promising as possible.

Is it the lack of contacts? the absence of a landline number? Inside contacts? I'm not pretty? I look like a highschool student?

I can't help but feel miserable. I have been thinking about it eversince the first company I applied in didn't call. I was really hoping i'd get that job but I didn't.

A weird gut feeling told me that none of the next companies would hire me also. It's like I'm cursed! Or someone who really dislikes me blacklisted me...or its karma for some bad stuff i did in the past like jaywalking or littering...It's three times the payback! I'm beginning to feel paranoid. what if i dont finish My OJT? will my family disown me? will everyone I know turn their backs on me because i'm such a disgrace?

I don't get it...why is the world unfair?

Here I am, applying for any job I can find while others didn't even break a sweat and they're enjoying the work. I have long dreamt of working in an OJT. Back in highschool I used to tell my friends that I want to work in a company that would actually teach me something and not make me do stuff that the janitress or janitor wouldn't bother to do.

I guess this is just another challenge no matter how hard this is, I have to try and finish it. I want to graduate next summer so I can finally leave the country nd work abroad.