Thursday, October 08, 2009

Looking back :)

I want to blog about a lot of things that happened to me from December of last year, til now... But I won't. People rarely care about backlog stuff and I'm too lazy to write what I remember. And friends find friends spamming their F-list with things irrelevant to their interests, annoying. I'm not aiming to annoy anyone at this time. The experience isn't as fresh as I want it to be and I realized that sharing to people you barely know in your blogs doesn't really make me feel healthy. So I'll try to give a short summary of everything so I'll remember them if I read this entry in the future.

I don't really write well, that I know for a fact. If there's one thing I regret, that's prolly the lost opportunity to learn how to write and read well. I want to justify that I only read the things that I find amusing, but I realized that lately, that the things I find amusing are just merely fads and popular reads. So yeah, i'll leave it at that before I get shot by the bookworms on my F-list.

Moving on with the list of chepot's sick sad world updates...

December, supi left for America... I felt sad, depressed, etc... you know about that. I drowned myself in an MMORPG called World of Warcraft. I got addicted, and bam before you know it, I got level cap, gears and achievements. But it led to some unwanted casualties in my career development (what career?), emotional development and personality development. I felt crippled without a job for four months moping in my room, devoting my life to an online game in hopes of developing a better relationship with my boyfriend. Friends hated me cause I barely go out with them and flooding plurk with nothing but online game stuff thatthey don't really appreciate kinda ticked them off. ( Thank you plurk for Private cliques :))

My birthday was a big turning point in my life. On this, I won't elaborate cause I'll sound like more of a bitch that people both hate and love me for. And I'm not really good friends with my bitchy side so let's try to keep things happy or or neutral at least. After my birthday, things got pretty messy. I got a new job later that month and I felt somewhat happy and employed, trying to work together with my bf in our relationship on the side.

After May and April, I became more irrational, irritable and unreasonable. I'm not saying it's completely changed now but hey, the first step to fixing something is recognizing the problem right? So I'm working my way to fixing myself. :) (awww optimism... Isn't it precious?) I'm lucky to have a very understanding, patient and loving boyfriend who stayed and put up with my annoying attitude to work on a better solution for our situation. The dark times in my life is almost always remedied by his support and patience and I thank the heavens for him in my life.

During that chaotic time, I got plagued with expenses, recurring issues from retarded ex-boyfriends, and perverted dirty old men at work who wanted to have a go with me and some other things that I'd rather not mention to avoid further conflict. My paranoia level raised to a 10. I became wary of male companions. I mean, as a woman, I probably hate my kind more than anyone else... But in this situation, I'd rather choose the company of mostly female or preferably, female-only friends. I later resolved this issue after I talked to some male colleagues and friends. Special thanks to Hayri for helping me with questions so I can reflect... (And mom's still asking for the baked tahong recipe you told her about)

I quit my job for a lot of reasons, and one of them is the 38 y/o man who kept giving me indecent proposals. We had a confrontation at one of our barkada meets and I think I was able to clarify and resolve that. Also, the environment of the job posed a threat to my relationship and as impractical as it may seem, I value my relationship more than my job. So I quit... of course there were also bigger reasons but since this is a blog, I'll leave it for the people I really call "friends". Don't you wish I'd just become a drama whore and tell the world how I was oppressed so you can talk about it? XD d'awwwww

My first ex bf who resides in Toronto.. (or was it Ontario...I dunno but they rhyme so whatever) also gave me a headache cause he wants to come home to get married. I guess I still came off as a gullible and stupid ex gf who would welcome him with open arms after we broke up 9 years ago. Long story short, he knocked up a classmate, wanted me to adopt the baby, told me I was good for nothing for not adopting the "authentic " canadian baby, and now he's going to marry the girl, he suddenly wants to come home and demand that I marry him. I know he needs immediate psychiatric help. I don't really wonder why I attract people like him in my life cause I'm aware that I'm also crazy but I sometimes wish God would deliver them in moderate amounts.

September was a big month for both me and supi. It marked the 3rd year of our relationship.. we still have a long way to go but I'm hoping that we can keep the relationship in a good condition for years to come. I've never been this happy with anyone in my life and I could not ask for more for now. Though our current situation, long distance relationship, is not ideal. I am gearing myself to someday follow and investing on myself to start a career there if my luck would hold. I've learned a lot from our relationship in these past years and I look up to my partner for having such patience and optimism. I hope that in this relationship, I can do things right, and even better.

I also got to attend GCA in Singapore to help man the booth for GDAP, meet with friends, and do errands in Singapore. With my recent addiction to World of Warcraft, I also re-discovered the long lost gamer potential in me. I don't think I can ever be hardcore but I learned to appreciate games and gamers thanks to this experience. I learned there that I missed a decade's worth of quality games that I'm only discovering now thanks to the people I met, both old and new friends. All in all, I loved the experience. ( :D And I got my PSP there so hell yeah! Fucking experience get!) It's sad that my budget is pretty limited so its the only one I can snag... >_< I really have to stop being a compulsive buyer in the future.

Then a typhoon hit the country... Our house was flooded up to neck level. The water looked like that wave of chocolate wave running after koko in every koko crunch commercial. Only this time, the wheat field is our house and we didn't go "POOF WE BECAME KOKO CRUNCH" right after. Our neighborhood disappeared from the map for a whole a day. And snakes were running amok in the flood water. Our neighborhood caught, killed and cooked a total of 7 snakes during that whole encounter. The only saving grace there was that I had a sari sari store for a business and it fed a lot of my neighbors. Problems like no electricity, candles and clean tap water started to get to us. As much as I hate rootbeer, it was the only clean liquid drink left so I had to bear with it. And if it weren't for my smart bro internet cable, I wouldn't be blogging right now... so Thank you Smart bro, for making your cables strong and sturdy. I swear never to harass any of your customer service agents again even when they make me wait for an hour on the line to check my connection with their fictional base stations. We were able to save a lot as compared to our but the cost of repair for both the wooden interior of the house and the van is a pain in the pocket so I had to find work and 2 days after, I'm employed :D

The event taught me a lot of things and allowed me to rediscover old important things as well. And I'm willing to do my best to change for the better so I can change the direction of my current life. I'm going to start by finishing the things I started... I don't wanna jinx it but I hope things will turn out for the better.

Maybe i'll have some new year's resolutions for 2010 afterall :)