i wonder at times why i lose myself. there's that chill on my shoulder that seems to take my mind off things and just let things happen only to feel bad when it goes wrong. it's like you're awake but you don't know what's happening until you realize that you're in a ton of mess. is that what they call mentally absent? why do people experience that? is it because of extreme emotional stress?
sometimes...my mind wanders to a place where i can lie down and notbe bothered by anyone but him...i want to break free from m cursed life and just stay in a vast oblivion of thoughts with the one i love...
but reality is cruel...so is fate...destiny...and everything that comes along with it...
up until now, i still don't get why everyone is fighting death...striving to survive...the only purpose of my existence now is my love and my grandmother...if it werent for them,the first oppurtunity i get, i'll to jump off a cliff or cut my wrist and bleed to death...
sure i dont like the idea of dying horrendously but, it's way better than living for nothing...
purpose? people say that we live for a purpose, we are instruments to make something happen. what if i don't like being an instrument? what if my purpose is nothing more than to cause irritation and annoyance to other people? is that something worth living for? sure! people say there's a brighter day but heck! i'm sick of waiting for that stinkin' brighter day...
we know for a fact that life is unfair but no one's doing anything about it....no one seems to care ...
we know that people are selfish...they do things for their own agendas..but everyone seems to be fine with that idea...
hay..why do i even bother asking? its not like it would matter to anyone...
okay...if you're done thinking that i'm just nothing but a piece of crap..you can now leave me alone and rid yourself of the burden that i am.
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