It's been a month or so since I changed my relationship status in facebook. It didn't feel all that bad knowing that it was probably better off that way so we can still keep each other close.
I have to admit that I'm scared. After I realized that i'm alone again. Surrounded by a couple of good friends but at the end of the day, I'm alone. It's been hard not mention hid old nickname that i gave him. Actually it feels odd to call him by any other name.
It's been a month since I asked myself, "so what happens now?"
Up til now, I still don't have an answer.
Thursday, May 05, 2011
Monday, January 10, 2011
Hey. It's been a while since I've written anything on any of my blogs. You know, I've never been a good writing nor considered writing as a passion but there are times that I really feel like writing how I feel. And this is probably one of those times.
A lot of things has happened to me in 2010 that I couldn't write or put into words. Some of them are just too awesome but most of them are just too painful. I've lost a lot of things in 2010 that paved way to a lot of big changes in my life. Some of these are mainly related to my career path, my family, my love, my friends and most of all, changes in myself.
In 2010, officially even before the year started, I know I've lost a good friend. I could say that she's gone bad like most of the people we know. At first I thought it was that. But later on, I realized that she hasn't she just sees life from a different perspective and decided to pursue it unlike any way the rest of us would have. My realization came after my decision to let our relationship just falter. To be honest, I think we both gave up on each other trying to drive the other into something we don't want. To be fair, I think what happened was for the best. And I think everyone else would agree to that.
In 2010, with a kind offer from a friend, I was able to pursue my dream of meeting my beloved again. It took a lot of work, and money. I burned a lot of my savings to get there but I did. Everything, from the visa application, interview, the hassle and the sleepless nights of figuring out where to get the rest of the money was made worth it when I stepped out of the airport to see that chubby gamer dude waiting for me with an imaginary 8-bit smile on his face. It'd be a lie to say that I am pretty ambivalent about it. Each moment I spend with him there brings me closer to the time that I'll have to part with him again. I felt that 2 weeks was too short to spend with the person I love most. So, the day I got on the plane to leave,I cried.
In 2010, I felt like I lost a father. Some of my close friends know what I've been going through with regards to my family status. And to those who know, they're probably aware why I'm the current breadwinner in the family. I have enough respect for my father not to get mad at him for it, so long as he lets my mother steer the family back to the right path. But late 2010, a revelation from my mom had me reach my boiling point. He already done enough damage to last me and my sibling's future. It's not totally irreparable and I'm aware that there are worse people out there but the thought that he'd do that to us was devastating and horribly disappointing.
It's not a secret from everyone that I'm a WoW player. 2010 marked my first year anniversary in WoW. I was able to get the yearly achievement and I felt accomplished. But that's not the only thing I got from the game. I found a best friend. And I'm quite thankful.
Posted by HuffypandaBear at 7:57 AM