Tuesday, June 27, 2006

You had a bad day

today, i woke up pretty early, I talked to my hubby this morning but our conversation seemed pretty dull to me...it's like it lacks something. I was in a bit of a hurry cause i don't want to be late for class. i made my way to school. i ran upon getting off in marikina to ride another jeep to katipunan. I almost tripped cause my shoes were too high. I got there almost in time but not quite...the teacher closed the door and AlAS! i was marked absent again in her class...

I went to the OLC to hang out with my friends from BA department. they're studying for an exam but since my head was in sabaw state, i kinda helped them forget everything they studied. after finishing my lipton iced tea bottle, i went to the cafeteria to grab some grub. I saw my co- Underground orgmates from Pajamas...we spent some time chatting ang gorging ourselves with food (mostly cheeselogs...)

After Darice (in pajamas) and Seyz left, maan and i went to find another place to hang out. since all the KUBOs are full we went to stay at the bench infront of the AVR rooms. there, we chatted for quite sometime about our lovelifes as well as the others...

I kinda miss these talk with my friends. it's been quite some time since i last socialized with other people aside from my boyfriend. i'm not saying that i don't enjoy the little chitchats that me and my bf used to share...It's just that, it's different with friends...i dunno how to explain, but it's somehow different.

Now that my friends are (mostly) mature individuals who share their lives with their special someones, i kind of see what will happen to us a few years from now when some of us get married. with work and family, it would be quite rare that we'd get to see each other...

Me on the otherhand, would have to wait longer than everyone else. My bf and i are planning to live together sometime in the future. we would only get married after we earn enough money to finance our needs without the assistance of our folks. We'll both be working our ass off. we're looking at the future with an idea of early retirement. We don't want to work forever, instead, we want to enjoy life to the fullest as early retirees...

"work now, enjoy later" he said


but somehow, i'm scared that a day may come and he'll forget about all the things we did...the exchange of our sweet nothings...the hugs, kisses and other body language we shared....the chemistry we had.

a number of people told me that what he did was selfish and what he is doing now, is a sign that he's preparing himself to love again...to look for another...eventhough i don't want to, i'm slowly losing grip on faith. I want to know how his feelings for me. what he is thinking...but i'm not sure if i could handle pain that well. i want to Live only because he wants me to live...i want to stay put and wait for him...do you think it's right if i stay here and wait for him? or should i leave and find my own destiny abroad?

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